California Man Loses Lawsuit Claiming His BMW Gave Him a Permanent Erection

I’m not going to lie: I love to ride motorcycles. But it turns out that some people can love riding motorcycles a little toooooo much.

bmwThis week, Californian Henry Wolf’s media circus of a lawsuit finally came to an end. What was he suing over? He claimed that a BMW motorcycle (which he modified with a seat from Corbin-Pacific) gave him a two year long erection. That’s right ERECTION.

According to his story, Wolf was riding his 1993 BMW K1100RS for four hours straight a few years back. When he got off of the bike, he said that he was struck with a severe case of priapism, and it was all due to the ridge like seat of the bike. Now, Wolf is suing because he is  “unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish.” He is demanding compensation (somewhere around $25,000…I think I’d price my junk a little bit higher) from BMW and Corbin for medical expenses, lost wages, and other “general damages.”

During the trial, Wolf’s attorneys rolled out a number of corroborative witnesses. The first came through video testimony from neurologist Dr. Jonathan Rutchik. Studies that he cited, which were conducted in Japan, led him to conclude that it is possible that motorcycle vibrations could cause priapism. Also vouching for the plaintiff was Dr. Jack McAninch. McAninch stated that Wolf’s injuries were consistent with a motorcycle ride.

bmw2Unfortunately for Wolf, though, San Francisco Judge James J. McBride isn’t buying it, claiming that there wasn’t enough evidence to prove a correlation. He threw out both pieces of testimony!

But still, others aren’t so sure if they agree with the court’s decision. Dr. Michael Lutz of the Michigan Institute of Urology says, “It’s been long-known that compression of the neurovascular supply to the penis—if it’s compressed for a long period of time, whether it be on a bicycle seat or some other device—it can actually cause prolonged numbness of the genitalia…they’re compressing those nervous structures to that region of the body.”

Unfortunately for Wolf, he has to go home with no compensation and no downstairs plumbing. There has yet to be word on whether or not he will follow up on his suit. Until that time, he may want to try Kickstarter.

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